In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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