TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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