On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
