it wasn't lemon gatorade
this just has baby written all over it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
