Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
