well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
