Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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