I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
