we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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