he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize