Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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