I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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