i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
