Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
