my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
