great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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