I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
