Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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