when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
