it was like eating out sand paper
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
