On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
