How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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