Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
