Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
