I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
