i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize