I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
