Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize