just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
