It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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