when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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