im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Actions speak louder than pants.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
