You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
