im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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