i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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