so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Everclear isn't food dammit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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