But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
