all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
