I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
