And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
