My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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