Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
