I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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