I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
