So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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