FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
