How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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