we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
