..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
