you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
