what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
