So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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