Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
