I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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