if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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