Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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