11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
