guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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