How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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