and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
