forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize