yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
