I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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