i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize