So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
