textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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