I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
